The Infamous Holly Tales
Holly the Popcorn Bandit
Friends of mine have nice, sane, normal dogs. They wag their tails, they bark, and at worst they chew up someone's shoes. I always wanted a Malamute because they were different, smart, and full of fun. You know that "beware what you ask for because you just might get it" concept? (isn't it actually a curse?)
Some of you will remember Holly from her efforts to take care of my housekeeping by doing the dishes and trying to blow up the house. Well, apparently she has gone high tech. Dishwashers and stoves aren't enough, now she's graduated to the microwave.
Today was a very long day at work and after finishing up my evening chores (and grumbling about the weather being to warm now to get out the cart and run the dogs) I decided to treat myself to some popcorn and an evening on the couch. I tossed a bag of microwave popcorn in, and then came and checked my e-mail. It took me a little longer than planned, but I didn't really notice and it was no hurry. I don't like the popcorn scalding hot anyway. I suppose I should have wondered when the dogs didn't join me. Yeah, I really should have known better.
When I stepped out into the hallway and looked down into my kitchen the first thing I noticed was the flying dogs. Flying is the best description I can think of. There went Dee Dee my Sibe and Kiva my Jindo jumping several feet in the air and sailing from one end of the kitchen to the other. It wasn't till I reached the kitchen that I realized the cause.
There in the middle of the kitchen was Holly my Mal. Clenched in her teeth was my bag full of popped popcorn. Like any good Malamute she was intent on killing her prey. Bouncing up and down and smiling with glee she was shaking that bag for all it was worth. She had managed to open a small hole in the top, and out of this came flying pieces of popcorn one or two at a time. The other dogs thought this was the greatest game...and were doing their best to capture the dreaded popcorn puffs before they had the chance to hit the ground and escape. As usual I was torn between getting after Holly for what she was doing, and laughing hysterically. As always I ended up sitting on the ground laughing my head off.
Of course once she realized she had been caught Holly did her best to disguise her crime in true Malamute fashion. That poor bag of popcorn hit the floor and she did a spectacular belly flop on it. Crunch! I've never seen the legless Malamute trick done with quite so much polish and pizzazz. Thus I ended up on the floor laughing almost so hard I couldn't see while Holly laid out flat doing her best impersonation of one of my broody hens setting on a nest of eggs. Tail going a mile a minute and grinning from ear to ear, she kept taking swipes at my ears with her tongue as I tried to shove her off the bag. Her coconspirators helped by jumping up and down and washing the other ear.
The bag and remaining popcorn was reclaimed in the end...thanks to a handful of cookies doled out to all the thiefs. Not quite sure why I wanted it back so badly, my snack was rather flattened, crushed, and drooled upon. The microwave has now moved into the locked kitchen cabinet where it shares space with the knobs off of my stove and the blender. I can just envision the results of Holly deciding to play with the buttons one day when I'm not home. Better to lock it up with the rest and be safe. She still hasn't figured out the fridge...or perhaps she's just saving that one for a rainy day.
I have to say, with Holly around life is never boring, and she certainly makes sure to keep a smile on my face. Yeah, I guess I did get what I asked for in my Malamute. Wouldn't trade her for the world :-)